Hahaha oh god

Boy do i have a story.
So it was friday night.
I wanted to go out to a party in brunswick. which is about 16 km from my house. It was at the house of a firespinner that i had never actually met but i had been told was pretty cool from the owner of Highly Flammable.
So i was ready to head around at like 11 but she hadn't got home yet so i figured i would just have a few predrinks. Drank a significant sum of glorious cask wine (its 15 dollars for 5 litres. straya cunt!)
I was rather drunk when i left the house then returned to the house 2 times to check whether the gas and my computer were off.
I got to the train station where i realised i was too late to get a train. I contemplated whether i could justify getting a taxi. I called one up and waited as taxi after taxi went by. I didn't know if the light on the top meant that it was full or empty so i didn't wave any down.
I waited for a good long while before a guy came up and started one of strangest conversations i've had in a while.
"where did the one come from?"
I didn't understand but i answered "wherever he felt like he needed to."
"But did he really ever know what it was?"
"well you could say that but other times i would say no."
"But it didn't seem like it would?"
" who knows? all humans are different."

It made no sense but i think i annoyed him by not being totally confused by the questions.
We then talked about what i was doing here, how i came to be here, why hadn't i called a taxi, why do i speak funny, am i a sheep shagger, where am i hiding my love-sheep You know the general day to day things.
I eventually hailed down a taxi and it got about halfway to my destination before i my inner-jew kicked in and i decided i couldn't justify paying anymore so i skated the rest of the way.
It could've taken me about 10 mins to get there, Instead it took me hours.
The funny thing was is that in the state that i was in i still had the good sense to write myself directions to get to her house all the way from mine. lets read those directions shall we?
Up hoddle til darling garden on rosenheath cross gardens diagonal find oval poundabout and up to gold st cross to micheal. scotchmer along till nicholson left to work right lygon left albert right sydney  Good fucking luck lol.

Oh so helpful.
I remember going down one street to find a street about 3 streets down the list then changing to the "right" direction and being further down the list.
Left at 11:45 got there at 2
It was down a pretty rundown industrial sector looking street. There was a party on one side but not the side that i was supposed to be going to. It felt like i was going to get butthurt pretty quickly here.
Regardless i call through the window to see if anyone knew a mel there.
A girl said "yeah i'll go get her" and she invited me in.
There was one light bulb in the place the rest of it was light up by candles.
There was a man sitting on the couch in his underwear, he had dreads and a lumberjack beard he looked like a pirate. (Adam he looked like simon before he got his dreads cut)
the place had old teastained newspaper for wallpaper in a few places and everyone was around a table playing circle of death. 
The fact the whole place was lit by candles gave the circle of death thing a distinct occulty kind of vibe to it.
We got down to playing and Mels circle of death rules included about 50% of the cards involving the removal of clothing
The naked pirate in the corner now made much more sense.
People were in various states of undress and it was pretty cool. It wasn't that awkward strip-game vibe where the people being told to take off clothing were wishy washy about it and really uncomfortable It was geniunely fun.
About 8 cards from the finish Max next to me picked up a rule card.
His rule was:
Any time you have to drink from here until the end of the game you have to take off a piece of clothing.
Me and 3 guys were drinking buddies (we had to drink when she drunk) with this one girl.
I figured i'd be alright.
Next two cards were waterfalls.
So. within what... 15-25 minutes of being at the party i was naked.
We drank and we yarned. I made a guy have an intimate conversation with a boiling jug and i spent alot of time out on the balcony where it was compulsory to speak in an accent. But only on the balcony of course.
A few hours later everyone was falling asleep so we gatecrashed the party over the road.
Turns out it was a venue with a stage and couches and a bar. It wasn't licensed or anything, just a venue for mates and artsy people to fuck around. So it meant people could smoke inside and i thought that was a bit of a novelty.
We drank and danced till 6 in the morning. Then i put the rest of my booze in the bag and set off home.
Of course... at this point the trams and trains were now running again so THEORETICALLY I coooould have just taken a train home but this idea alluded my addled mind.
I started skating home from brunswick. Ideally it should be 17 or so km according to google maps. I doubt my route would have been that short.
Heres what i had to say about it at the time.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_gpsVueIcY&feature=youtu.be

Previous to that video i had realised my wine, which was in an open glass bottle, was leaking out of the bottle
Go figure.
So i stuffed a tshirt into in and skated along but realised that wasn't working. I couldn't waste it so i had to drink the rest. about a litre.
It was not tasty.
That may lend some reasoning to the slurring and over the top love for melbourne for poorly chosen reasons.
I got home at about 8. slept till 4 then went to work at 6. Worked till 12.
Crashed completely when i got home.






Fast forward to today.
I'm sitting here after having a smoke and i get a call.
Oh god i have to talk to people (brackets are thoughts at the time)
I pick up and the lady goes:
"Hi cameron i'm calling from the (something) conservation society i was told by max butler (that sounds familiar...) that you were interested in working for us?
(what. i didn't put my CV into a conservation society thing.)
"uh.. yeah... yeah.. i'm sorry i'm not totally clued up on this what would this job entail?"
"Oh... I thought Max would've told you about this" (Oh fuck.. uh. what who the fuck is max? god i'm shit with names)
"Uh... well. you might have to desss..(please don't be offended i cant remember the guy who recommended me..) criiibe... him?
"Oh he's got blonde hair an..."
(click)
" OH yeah! yeah yeah yeah ok sorry sorry yeah i know the dude."

So remember the dude who made the 1 drink = 1 piece of clothing removed during circle of death? Yeah apparently somewhere along the night i had professed my undying joy towards the enviroment and because of it i had been offered a job at this conservation society. I'm going to take it. Heres the pay rate
19.95 per hour and 40 bucks more per day if i get 2 people signed up.
Now as much as i don't like people selling shit by coming up to are trying to get you signed but
Holy tits did you say 20 bucks an hour holy dicks.
Did i mention i can pick what days i work to suit me?
What the enolwlkewnienkfke
wfqj'
fehihief
THIS ROCKS.

God damn i love this place.